I know i annoy my homegirls by sayn I get clingers but it’s true I always end up datn a guy who turns out to be a) a cheat or b) a clinger. So this blog is bout em clingers.
I’m not gon start off by bein all prophetic n sayn I was nvr once a clinger. Matta fact I had 2 relationships where, yes, I went into “stage 5” clinger mode. Call it bein young n stupid n infatuated, whatever. U learn, u mature, u get over it. That’s what makes me cold in some ways. But sometimes bein cruel is needed.
I think, I do get clingers is bcuz when I’m talkn to sum1 n I’ve honed in my sights on the target of my current person to talk to, I want the conversations to be real. I’m not talkn “oh hey how was ur day?” simple banter. I’m talkn reeeaaach into ur soul type ish lol. Like it will be normal but I will try to probe further. And from what I’ve learned from dating, guys, don’t open up, it’s not in their abilities. And it’s a “man” thing to do.
But when u do get them to open up u learn more about how u want to be w that person or not. However, it sets urself up for *dun dun dun* cling mode. When ppl, male or female, share intimate stuff bout their lives they’ve put it in their minds that, “I’m attached to u/ We made a connection/ You know me deeper than any other person so u owe me”.
And in a society where almost every basic conversation or social media outlet, u learn more about a person before u can talk about it. Whether, their interests movies books clothes etc, or the places they’ve seen n things they saw or did on saturday night. It only leaves u to ask beyond the realm of their online profile or statistics on google. And through all the plain to serious conversations they’ve now become “attached” to u. And hv expectations of u since u now axquired this knowledge about them.
But we are not even official, im not ur wife, or ur bestie. And even if I shared something intimate bout myself to u, I will always have that wall. It’s who I am. I’m nice but I can be very cold especially when u go into clingy mode.
Jealousy, can only go so far w me. If it’s daily then u hv a problem that I cant help u with. If u need to know my schedule then there’s a problem if i’ve told u my sched already. It’s not like it’s any diff from yesterday. And if i want to be alone n just wander the mall, or go for a walk n read, or compose or learn a new song, then heck im gon do it. I dont need a supervisor or an escort.
If u want to come along just tell me dont rip me this same stupid, run around the bush line, “where’ve u been? whod u go with? Y didnt u invite me? Oh thats who u were with. I see… Ok…nothing…” there’s times i need my space. N if u cant trust that or anything else i do, then there is no trust. U need to be straight forward.
And the worst thing of all about a clinger is the negativity u start throwin at me. I will shut down n begin to ignore u when that happens. Dont try to guilt trip me or reverse psychology me. Dat bs doesnt work. Go home to ur bed cry in ur pillow n when ur calm n collected, face me like a man n tell me straight up wut the fuck is ur problem. Otherwise stop throwin false accusations or shit u made up in ur mind.
We’re adults act like one
That is all.